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The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting, by Alice Miller
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In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "readers will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller.
Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness; be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives.- Sales Rank: #710098 in Books
- Brand: W.W. Norton & Co
- Published on: 2005-05-17
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.60" h x .90" w x 5.80" l, .82 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
From Publishers Weekly
In her latest vehement treatise, Swiss psychoanalyst Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child) reprises her classic critiques of filial duty. In her view, our culture systematically denies childhood abuse sufferers access to their true feelings. Repressed emotional responses to early humiliations and unfulfilled needs are inevitably transferred to the body, Miller believes, producing long-term illness. She also believes that the majority of therapists are bent on fostering an attitude of forgiveness. Miller instead urges the reader to reappraise the substance of the Fourth Commandment, which she construes as containing "a kind of moral blackmail" and, reflecting on her own unhappy childhood, argues that what survivors of parental cruelty need most is someone who shares their feelings of indignation. Miller traces the relationship between inadequate or tyrannical parenting and adult bodily illness, depression and suicide in pithy biographies of Dostoyevski, Chekhov, Kafka, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce and many others. Yet Miller is more a subjective observer and a guru than a social scientist. Her highly personal, undertheorized and generalizing approach will strike some as simplistic, yet those who loyally follow her child-centered philosophy will probably find much to enjoy in the conviction with which she writes. (May)
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Review
“Alice Miller’s arguments are lucid, closely reasoned, and utterly convincing.”
- Elaine Kendall, Los Angeles Times Book Review
About the Author
Alice Miller (1923-2010) is the author of such classic works as The Drama of the Gifted Child, Prisoners of Childhood, The Body Never Lies, From Rage to Courage, and Free from Lies.
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful Info.
By DC Customer
Having to go through a painful journey and books like this help, again. There is a reason why if it becomes necessary to go NO CONTACT one should stay in that mode. Whether it be with the abuser, or one of their "flying monkeys", they will only try to drag you back into their hurtful web of projection and using you as a decoy to not face their own life issues. I thought I had grown to a point this could no longer hurt me, but I swear narcs like to push every painful button they can, to feed on your emotional pain. Logically you may be able to get this, but it still hurts to be trashed, falsely labeled, wrongly accused, have anything and everything you say twisted and painful things (usually caused by them) that has ever happened to you repeatedly brought up. I did get very sick feeling, stomach problems, headaches, rashes, little sleep, etc. whist revisiting this drama. Thanks to books such as these, EFT, a ton of tears and resetting healthy boundaries , as well as listening/ viewing a bunch of YouTube videos the sun is peeking through again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
And we're not here to live the lies told by people we trusted
By LNCarrington
Fabulous material. Very eye-opening and very loving. This is a must for those who have had physical and emotional trauma in your early years. Very healing and I have so much more respect for 'knowing my truth' because my body knows what isn't right. I highly recommend this book.
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
Profound and True
By PAG
I first read Alice Miller's book explaining Hilter's brutality and murderous behavior a number of years ago. At the time, it seemed unbelievable that something as vast as the Holocaust could be caused by terrible childhood abuse. Then, since I practiced psychotherapy as a clinical psychologist and worked with many clients who had terrible abuse in childhood, the realness of Miller's analysis sunk in. These violent tendencies are stored in the body which to most IS largely unconscious and vague. When situatiions arise that duplicate emotionally what was experienced in childhood, rage can take over and overwhelm. It is a profound joke to think that the rational, everyday mind controls human behavior, and that myth must be dislodged before any real progress in eliminating war and other atrocities can occur. The first step is to believe what your body is telling you and learning its data languuage. No easy task, but possible if one wants to know oneself. Drawing with the non-dominant hand in a fee flow way is quite helpful, as Alice Miller illustrates in another of her books. I highly recommend this book for everyone who wants to really understand oneself, and the first step is learning what your body reveals.
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